Marriage Counseling before Divorce: How Discernment Counseling can help you know if divorce or couples therapy is the next right step for your relationship
Should we try marriage counseling before divorce?
Things have been hard lately . . . or maybe for a very long time. One of you is considering divorce. You’re just not sure if marriage counseling could help, if it would be worth it, if your partner would come, or if you even want to save the relationship.
In my last post, I talked about what discernment counseling is and how it differs from traditional couples therapy. You can check that out here.
In this post I’m discussing the advantages and challenges of discernment counseling.
Advantages of Discernment Counseling
First up, the good stuff. Discernment counseling is like a roadmap for couples who are trying to figure things out. We’ll talk through your options:
Leave things as they are
End the relationship
Six month trial of couples therapy to see what can be changed or improved in the relationship. (Then you’ll get to decide if you want to stay or end it.)
One of the cool things about it is that it gives each person a chance to really open up and share their thoughts without feeling judged.
We’ll talk about what’s been working, what’s not working, what choosing to stay in the relationship might look like, and what could be worked on if you decide to do couples therapy.
This kind of open conversation helps partners better understand their own feelings and get where their significant other is coming from. It’s like a deep dive into your own heart and your relationship — and whether the outcome is working things out or going your separate ways, couples come away with a clearer sense of who they are and what they want from a partner.
Disadvantages of Discernment Counseling
Now, let’s talk about the flip side. For therapists, it’s a bit like navigating a maze. They’ve got to guide the discussion without taking sides. Plus, it’s not just about listening - therapist need to gently nudge couples to really think deeply about their situation, which can be uncomfortable.
You might want your therapist to just tell you what to do but we don’t have to live your decisions and it would be unethical for us to make any decisions for you. Our job is to guide you into seeing all your options and helping you to think deeply for yourself and determine what’s best for YOU.
I break this all down and more in my video, showing you how therapists are kind of like relationship wizards, tackling these challenges head-on to make the whole process seriously rewarding.
At Inland Empire Couples Counseling we offer the best marriage counseling we can! Our couples therapists are trained in helping couples heal from infidelity, substance use in relationships, childhood trauma, communication skills, as well as providing the LGBTQIA+ community with pride counseling. We have online couples counseling in California. We have couples therapy in Riverside, CA. We also have marriage counseling in Murrieta CA or the Temecula Valley. Please reach out for help by clicking the button below to schedule a free 15 minute consultation with our Intake Coordinator.
Have questions about couples counseling? Visit our FAQs page to find out more.
