How To Help Your Addicted Partner
Consult A Therapist Series
Do you wonder if you're an enabler? Have you tried to help and support your addicted partner but aren't sure that what you're doing really works? Knowing how to support your addicted or alcoholic partner can be really tricky! And your needs don't stop just because they're going through something. Any type of addiction or problem drinking can wreak havoc on relationships.
There are answers! We know how to help people recover their relationships and repair from the damage addiction causes.
Couples therapists Rebecca Williams, LMFT and Gloria Magana, AMFT talk through how to best help your addicted partner, what enabling is, how it happens, and what you can do instead.
How to help your addicted partner:
What is enabling? - It is when someone allows the addictive behavior from their partner even when we don’t agree with it. It can also include someone removing the natural consequences from our partner’s choices.
Where does enabling come from? - It comes from a loving, well-intended place. When we are in a relationship, we want to love fully and help fully. This causes us to make excuses for our partners; as well as holding onto the strong hope that they can and will change if we help them out.
Why does it continue? - We let the behavior continue because we are trying to avoid the conflict that often arises when we try to confront the behavior. We also don’t want to risk our relationship over this addictive behavior.
What can I do?
Become Aware of your behavior
Establish Healthy Boundaries for yourself: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually
Consistency: stick to your boundaries
Take Care of Yourself: keep yourself safe in all ways
Get Support: from both family and professionally (if necessary)
Was watching this video a homework assignment from your therapist?
Put this skill into practice before your next session. We’ll want to know how it went. If you had great success, we’ll celebrate with you. If implementation was rough, we can help you figure out what went wrong and get you back on track.
