Individual Counseling for Relationships
Do you keep repeating the same patterns in your relationship(s) and feel frustrated because you can’t figure out how to get out of your own way? Have you ever felt afraid that your current partner will lose patience and leave if you don’t get your shit together? You might be dealing with depression, anxiety, problem drinking or substance use, a rough childhood, internalized homophobia, a history of being cheated on, doubts about your faith or any number of other life problems. These challenges can be difficult on their own and overwhelmingly complex when your relationship is impacted.
We can help!
Along with specializing in couples, our therapists have experience working with a variety of individual issues: substance use, infidelity, anxiety, depression, grief, faith crises, and more. We are uniquely trained to know how to balance your individual struggles and relationship needs. We are experts in relationships and can give you the support you need to figure out how you can stop getting in your own way and how you can talk to your partner about the challenges you are facing. We want to help you take responsibility for your own healing while also being sensitive to your partner’s needs.
Imagine how confident and calm you would feel if you were free from the guilt and shame your challenges bring you. Imagine how empowered you would feel if you knew you could handle your issues and have the great relationship you want! You could feel so much closer to your partner when this other stuff isn’t keeping you apart.
If you find your individual challenges impacting your relationship and you aren’t careful about which therapist you choose, individual counseling could actually make your relationship problems worse. This is especially true in cases of substance use or infidelity.
Substance use or problem drinking
A well-meaning substance use counselor might not know how to help you navigate the complex relationship challenges you'll have to face once you get your problem behavior under control. They might give you great advice about how to prioritize your recovery but might not know how to help you balance that with still showing up as a spouse. This is a common complaint for spouses of the recovering person: “It’s all about you and your recovery and we never get to talk about what I need.” If you’re the spouse and your individual counselor doesn’t understand substance use, they might not know how to help you support your spouse and speak up for what you need without triggering cravings or relapse in your partner.
Infidelity or cheating
If your partner has been unfaithful, you might be surprised to find yourself wanting to stay in the relationship. (You’re totally normal, by the way. Many people think that what they’d do is leave and then find it’s not that simple when it happens to them.) If you want to stay in your relationship, you need to work with a therapist who will support you in doing this. Someone who tells you “You’ve been wronged. I don’t know why you stay with them!” isn’t the right person for helping you heal and work on your relationship problems. And if you’re the person who strayed, you’ll need a therapist who can see beyond popular but simplistic ideas like “cheaters are losers” or “once a cheater always a cheater.” You’ll want someone who can see you with compassion and knows how to help you understand yourself and rebuild trust with your partner. We want to be that person for you.