Using I Statements: Communication Skills for Relationships
Consult a Therapist Series
Many of us were never taught basic communication skills or we lived in families where we saw a lot of what not to do, a lot of bad communication, and not enough good communication skills for relationships. Or maybe you had great examples of how to communicate in relationships and could use a refresher.
In this video, Aliah and Rebecca discuss what I statements are, what they are not, and when and how to use I statements.
Using “I” Statements:
What an “I” Statement is:
a basic communication skill and necessary for great communication in relationships
a statement of how you feel/your experience
a statement that allows you to take ownership of your emotions without shame or blame
a statement that allows you to be vulnerable with your partner without anyone becoming defensive
What an “I” Statement isn’t":
a statement to blame or shame your partner
a “you” statement
a soft statement/a passive - aggressive statement
When you use “I” Statements:
when you are feeling unheard, upset, hurt, sad, etc.
when you are happy or want to express encouragement
when you want to communicate clearly with your partner, boss, friends, children, etc.
Was watching this video a homework assignment from your therapist?
Put this skill into practice before your next session. We’ll want to know how it went. If you had great success, we’ll celebrate with you. If implementation was rough, we can help you figure out what went wrong and get you back on track.
