6 Myths about Couples Counseling in Riverside CA
For many people, the idea of couples counseling comes with a lot of assumptions and many of them simply aren't true. Whether you've considered couples counseling in Riverside CA or you're just curious about how it works, these common myths can keep people from getting help that could make a real difference.
Rebecca and Alexis clear up some of the biggest misconceptions about couples counseling.
Myth #1: Couples counseling in Riverside is only for married couples.
At Inland Empire Couples Counseling, we intentionally use the terms couples therapy and couples counseling because you don't need a piece of paper that says you're married for your relationship to deserve care and attention.
Many unmarried couples come to us to better understand their compatibility, work through recurring conflict, or decide what they want for their future. Therapy can help you strengthen your relationship, determine whether you're ready for marriage, or even recognize when it's healthiest to part ways.
In reality, what we provide is relationship therapy. We work with:
Married couples
Dating and engaged couples
Divorcing couples
Co-parents
Blended families
Adult children and their parents
Polyamorous relationships
The skills we teach, healthy communication, emotional connection, conflict resolution, listening, and follow-through, are valuable in every kind of relationship.
Myth #2: The therapist will pick a side.
Yes and no. If you’re fearful (or expecting) that you’ll come to therapy and the therapist will tell you that you’re to blame for all the problems in your relationship, your partner is an absolute saint, and you need to shape up and do what your partner tells you, then no. Your therapist will not take sides in that way. That might be a relief if you’re used to being on the receiving end of blame in the relationship, and you might be disappointed if you really think your partner is at fault and you’re wanting a therapist to just help your partner see things your way. We’re not referees here to judge who won the fight. But good couples therapists aren’t neutral. We are on the side of your relationship. We want you both to be happy and for your relationship to be healthy. And sometimes we do take sides on individual issues. In the interest of what’s best for your relationship health, we might sometimes tell you that you need to apologize to your partner and change your behavior. If you are being unfair in your expectations of your partner or unreasonable in your requests, we will tell you that. We will tell you because we want what’s best for you, your partner, and your relationship. We don’t do you any favors by not helping you see what you could do to make things better.
Honest feedback isn't about taking sides. It's about helping both partners build a healthier relationship.
Myth #3: You only go to couples counseling if you're about to break up.
Many couples wait until they're in crisis before reaching out for help. While therapy can absolutely help during difficult seasons, it's often even more effective before problems become overwhelming.
Think about it this way: we don't wait until a medical emergency to see a doctor. We schedule annual checkups to stay healthy.
Relationships deserve the same kind of preventative care.
Couples counseling can help you navigate life's inevitable challenges, career changes, parenting, financial stress, family conflict, illness, or major decisions before they create lasting damage. Even healthy relationships benefit from having a place to check in, strengthen communication, and learn new skills.
Myth #4: Once you're divorced, therapy can't help.
Divorce isn't a single event—it's a long process.
Along the way you're grieving, healing, redefining your identity, adjusting finances, navigating legal issues, changing family relationships, and trying to understand what happened.
Therapy can help with all of it.
Individual therapy can provide support as you process grief, anger, and uncertainty. Divorce counseling can help you find closure, better understand the relationship, and move forward with greater confidence.
When children are involved, therapy becomes even more valuable.
Although your marriage has ended, your parenting relationship continues. Learning how to communicate respectfully, make decisions together, and prioritize your children's well-being can make an enormous difference for everyone involved.
We believe every divorcing couple with children can benefit from co-parenting counseling.
Myth #5: Healthy couples don't need therapy.
Even those "perfect" couples can face challenges they aren’t equipped to navigate alone.
A healthy couple may suddenly find themselves struggling after a job loss, the death of a loved one, caring for aging parents, a medical diagnosis, mental health concerns, or changes in parenting responsibilities.
These situations test even the strongest relationships.
Couples counseling isn't only about fixing what's broken. It's also about developing new skills, strengthening your partnership, and learning how to face life's challenges as a team.
Healthy couples often become even healthier through therapy.
Myth #6: If my partner won't change, therapy won't help.
There are two myths in one here. The first is that therapy can’t help if you’ve already tried everything you can to fix your relationship, and the second is that the goal of therapy is to change people. Let’s take them one at a time.
First Myth: Therapy can’t help if you’ve already tried everything you can to fix your relationship
There are problems in your relationship and you’ve been trying to get your partner to change their side so things will work better for you. You’ve done all you know to do and it isn’t working. That’s why you’re here. We are professionals. We do this every day. We have education, years of experience, and thousands of hours sitting with relationships like yours. We’ve read books, gotten graduate degrees, read scientific studies about relationships and how to help people change. If you’re frustrated and hopeless because you haven’t been able to get your partner to change, that’s okay. That’s why you come to us for help. We know how to find what’s not working and help you each find motivation to change what you can. Just like with medicine for your body: there are some things you treat at home, some thing you to go your primary care physician for, and some things you want treated by a specialist. We’re the specialists for relationship health. We’re here to help when things feel hopeless.
Second Myth: The goal of therapy is to change people.
The truth is, you can’t do that. Only your partner can change themselves if they want to. (We know all about how to help people find motivation to change, as described above.) And there’s another truth: not all relationship problems can be fixed. Many have to be managed. You and your partner are just different people. And when you are very different in some areas that creates tension or conflict. You and your partner maybe fight a lot about these areas of difference, trying to change each other to be more like yourselves. But just like someone can’t change whether they are right or left-handed and someone can’t change that they have allergies or chronic health conditions, some personality traits can’t be changed either. We can help you identify whether the problems you are facing are things that can change, how to change them if they can, and how to work around them if they can’t change. We are not at all
(In conclusion)
The truth is, every relationship faces challenges. The difference isn't whether you struggle—it's how you respond when you do. Couples counseling isn't about proving who's right or fixing a "broken" relationship. It's about creating a space where both people can better understand each other, build healthier patterns, and move toward the kind of relationship they both want.
If you've been wondering whether counseling could help your relationship, you don't have to wait until things feel hopeless. Whether you're dating, married, separated, divorced, or co-parenting, investing in your relationships is always worthwhile. We're here to help you take the next step.
Author Bio
Alexis Johnson, LMFT, is a dedicated and creative couples and family therapist in Riverside, CA, who helps partners and families heal old hurts, strengthen connections, and navigate the complex dynamics that shape their relationships. With experience working with individuals, teens, families, and couples, she meets clients exactly where they are and empowers them to create meaningful, lasting change.
Alexis earned her Master’s in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from Azusa Pacific University and is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California.
Rebecca Williams, LMFT, is a committed licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Riverside, CA, with a Master’s degree from Loma Linda University. She helps individuals and couples heal emotional wounds, strengthen relationships, and build lasting, fulfilling connections.
Rebecca has advanced training in addiction treatment, family therapy with teens, and multiple evidence-based couples therapy approaches. She has also spoken on topics including faith transitions, the coming-out process, wellness, and leadership. Committed to lifelong learning, she continually expands her expertise to provide the highest quality care for her clients.
Drawing from both her professional experience and her love of hiking and backpacking, Rebecca understands that meaningful change requires courage, persistence, and support. She partners with clients as a compassionate guide, helping them navigate challenges, repair relationships, and reach their personal and relational goals.
