First off, please know that you are not alone. There are many reasons why people have affairs and even more reasons why people want to stay in their marriages. Couples who discovered infidelity and chose to love instead of hate report having a far better marriage and are happier than couples who decided to split after discovering. 

In this post we’re exploring myths about infidelity. Many of these myths stem from black-and-white thinking. We often like the certainty that this kind of thinking gives us. This is good and that’s bad. It’s cut and dried. The problem is that humans and human relationships are messy and complex. When we ignore this fact, we can get stuck feeling we have few options and being unable to make sense of our lives. Black and white, good or bad, this or that doesn’t work when we’re talking about marriages and people. Let’s look at some of those myths now.

I’ve got some news for you: Not all problems in your marriage can be solved. Some just don’t have solutions. These may come from differences in personality traits, religion, political opinions, cleanliness preferences, and the like. No matter how much you talk about these things or fight about which way is right, neither of you is likely to change or to change your partner.

I’ve got some news for you: Not all problems in your marriage can be solved. Some can be worked through using compromise, and some just don’t have solutions. These may come from differences in personality traits, religion, political opinions, cleanliness preferences, and the like. No matter how much you talk about these things or fight about which way is right, neither of you is likely to change or to change your partner.

You have conflict with your spouse. Okay, that happens. I'm here to help you know how to you bring up marriage problems in a way that gets you listened to and not dismissed. You may have very good points or legitimate concerns but the way you talk about them with your partner sets you up to not be heard or to be easily dismissed.

Problems have been building in your marriage for a while. You try talking about it and end up fighting. You try again and end up fighting. Maybe you try to change and you try to ask for change, and you’re both still fighting and miserable. So, you gather up your courage and decide to try marriage counseling. You might hope that if you can just get in there for one session the therapist is going to convince your spouse that you have been right all along and amazing changes happen overnight. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that’s not how these things work. You need a relationship checkup.